The Many Tiers of Rape Culture

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end_rape_img-fRape culture has many forms and not just the sexual assault kind one sees on the news, where the perpetrators are given 25 years to life for brutal attacks if caught and convicted. Rape culture has an array of forms, and the tiers can go from subliminal and advance to critical levels.

The lowest layer on the rape culture chart starts off with victimization, which has several forms alone. Victimization shows up as unwanted touching in a non-sexual way, the disclosure of private details about one’s sexual life that one didn’t ask to be a part of, could be deemed as inappropriate. Rape jokes, homophobia/transphobia, locker room talk, sexist attitudes, and victim blaming. I’m sure we all know someone whether in the work place, or in our private lives that have been known to exhibit the victimization tiers of rape culture.

Level II of rape culture is degrading someone, like catcalls. When someone is in public, that person should not be subjected to catcalls. Let people go to their destination, without others impeding on them by flapping their gums. I can’t stand when the weather gets a little warm, and that give individual(s) (men) the license to start the enhancement of cat calling to monumental levels. If one does participate in catcalling, one is also participating in rape culture. Sending someone an unsolicited picture of one’s sexual anatomy is another form of rape culture. If they didn’t ask to see a picture of one’s private parts, don’t send it! Of course, the situation in the club or any other public space where one thinks it’s a good idea to grope someone, without his or her consent is also a part of rape culture.

Level III of rape culture intensifies, this tier represents the phenomena that have been around for a while now, but has been recently getting a lot of attention, which is when a man covertly removes a condom during sexual intercourse, without the consent of the person they are having sex with at the time. Condom removal without the other person’s consent is never okay. In the present, politicians are looking to put laws of this nature on the books, to address it. Statutory rape is also an action that we should know is part of the intensifying levels of rape culture. The excuse that one didn’t know that he/she was 15 at the time of sexual intercourse is not going to fly. One may be convicted of statutory rape and will be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of their lives, even after serving time in jail if applicable. One better makes sure that the person that they are engaged in sexual intercourse with is of legal age, in their state (which varies). Sexual coercion is also part of level III of rape culture. Pressing someone to have sex is part of the dimension of rape culture. If one has to pressure someone to have sex, then it says a lot about you, and mainly that you are a sexual predator.

Level IV is the last level of rape culture, which is explicit violence. Actions like rape are the most violent out of the definitions. I also want to make it clear, that having sex with someone who is intoxicated and can’t give clear consent is also rape. When one commits acts of battery, incest, and murder that can also be characterized as part of rape culture.

Now that one has understood (hopefully) all the definitions from lowest to highest; it’s important that no matter how low the tier is, participating in any of these actions means one is contributing to rape culture. Lastly, if one sees their friends groping, cat calling, making rape jokes, talking about having sex with intoxicated victims, one should check their friends, etc or you also become part of the problem.

Works cited:

http://www.11thprincipleconsent.org

-Ms Scripture

Just blogging for the masses, ya dig?

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The Transformative Power of Reading

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Barbershop-Books

One of the most powerful ways to awaken, develop, strengthen, and renew your inner intellectual is through reading substantive pieces each day. When you read substantive works, your knowledge grows, your imagination becomes broader, and your capacity to dream elevates. Reading permits you to not only discover many or most of the answers you seek, but also it enables you to formulate the right questions, questions that will lead you to a better, more interesting, and more successful life. This intentional focus on your inner intellectual will pay true dividends in enhancing your self-concept and naturally and ultimately your self-esteem.

When you read quality material, material that relates to your interests, aspirations, and search for answers, your purposeful reading will serve as a strong defense against negative factors affecting and influencing your self-concept and self-esteem.

Reading substantive literature, such as slave narratives, allows for you to place the challenges, barriers, and problems you face in their proper context. When you read slave narratives, you will learn about individuals who persevered and triumphed in impossible conditions—conditions much more difficult than you will ever be able to imagine. These stories about how American heroes and heroines endured these impossible conditions will inspire you to continue to strive for success—even when success falsely appears unlikely and barriers seem like they will never be conquered. Look for the strategies, values, principles, and thinking that led to those individuals’ success. Find ways to incorporate what contributed to their success into your own life.

Use your school library, public library, and the internet to find books and articles that pertain to your interests and goals. One of the greatest investments you can make in yourself each day is to read something that is going to support your interests and place you further on the path to achieving your goals. Each day is an opportunity to learn something new. Don’t waste a moment in self-doubt. Expand your knowledge, expand your horizons, expand your imagination through a commitment to reading meaningful books and articles that pertain to your interests and goals.

A commitment to purposeful reading every day is one of the most powerful ways of strengthening your self-concept and self-esteem. With this commitment, your mind becomes occupied with self-advancement, pursuing your interests, and meeting your goals.

Let books and articles occupy your mind, limiting the amount of time for condemnation, peer pressure, and self-doubt to discourage you and halt your progress.

Dr. Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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10 Tips To Improve Your Self-Esteem

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self-esteemNumerous people can benefit from a significant improvement in their self-esteem. When you have low self-esteem or unsatisfactory self-esteem, don’t be ashamed; take steps to boost it. You possess the authority necessary to take control of your life. A healthy self-esteem is essential for a healthy life to materialize. Recognizing how important a strong self-esteem is to a productive and fulfilling life, this piece offers ten tips to aid you in strengthening your self-esteem.

1. Take Charge of Your Own Life. This is your life—choose what you want it to do for you. Make life submit to you; don’t allow it to dominate you.

2. Accept the Notion that You Are Responsible for You. When you claim responsibility for your life and are able to own your failures and celebrate your successes, you place yourself on the path to a healthier self-esteem.

3. Reject Those Committed to Destroying You. Surround yourself with people committed to building you up and advancing you. Disconnect from those who consistently attempt to undermine and attack you. Refuse to allow your friends and family to destroy you with their words and actions. If necessary, separate yourself from them.

4. Speak Positive Words to Yourself. People with an unproductive self-esteem constantly speak negative words to themselves. Their thought-life is consumed with self-defeating thoughts and images.

5. Take Calculated Risks. If you’re going to reach your full potential, comfort zones must be eradicated. Comfort zones kill dreams; comfort zones extinguish passions; comfort zones limit possibilities. Never permit the fear of failure to prevent you from tackling a challenge.

6. Discontinue Comparing Yourself to Others. Focus on yourself. Become the best version of yourself possible.

7. Love Yourself. You will never experience true happiness and joy when you fail to love yourself.

8. Be Trustworthy and Loyal. Let your words and actions prove you to be trustworthy and loyal.

9. Win with Grace, Lose with Class. Be a great winner and lose honorably.

10. Be a Giver. Being an authentic giver fills you with joy and dismantles the elements that compose low self-esteem.

Revolutionarypaideia.com

Dr. Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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10 Reasons Your Church Could Be in Decline

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Mountains of debt, significantly plummeting church attendance and membership, and uninspired members: fundamental signs your church is in decline or failing. Do the members of your church have nostalgia for “the good old days” instead of enjoying the present and looking forward to the future? Unfortunately, too many church leaders are unwilling to engage honestly with serious issues and questions about their ministries. If in the past a church had great attendance, a constantly burgeoning membership, and limited to no indebtedness, and those phenomena are no longer in place, the leaders of the church must be candid in their approach to resolving these problems. Pretending like problems don’t exist in your church will further exacerbate them. The purpose of this piece is to offer 10 reasons your church could be in decline or failing.

  1. Envy present at all levels. When church leaders are envious and they refuse to address envy among their members, this leads to damaging disunity in their churches. Your church will never grow and experience success when its leaders and membership are dominated by a spirit of envy. Although you might claim that the power of the Holy Spirit is flowing powerfully in your church, you’re being dishonest when envy is highly prevalent in your church. The pastor of your church has to check his or her own envy and promote a spirit of unity among the membership. When people are more talented and anointed to do sundry tasks than you, provide loving support for them and don’t undermine them.
  1. The pastor is a manager instead of a leader. If your pastor has to have his or her fingerprints on everything, he or she is simply a tyrant. In various religious communities, we’re too quick to call someone a leader simply because he or she is occupying a position. A pastor who micromanages every aspect of the church’s affairs is a manager—not a leader. An effective pastor delegates authority and responsibility to other leaders and members of his or her church, and he or she trusts them to accomplish what needs executing; he or she does not supervise every detail of their work. People should feel comfortable operating in their gift without fear of receiving a negative critique or unnecessary requests from him or her to modify their work.
  1. Too many messy people. Messy pastors, church leaders, and members are the ultimate destruction of churches. Pastors and church leaders should be working to resolve messiness in the church and not participate in the messiness themselves. What are some of the ways in which a pastor can be messy, you ask? One way is for him or her to sit at home with members of his or her family and plot the undermining of certain individuals they don’t support. Another way a pastor can be messy is to pick and choose “favorites” in the church and believe anything those favorites run and tell him or her. Finally, one of the most damaging ways in which a pastor can be messy is to use his or her sermons as vehicles to attack those members he or she has problems with and to galvanize support from other leaders and members to join him or her in opposing those members. Too many churches have people who are committed to gossiping about members of their own churches, and this results in breakdowns in communication and relationships, envy, disengagement, and a dearth of productivity.
  1. The pastor selects “favorites.” Everyone in your church should be valued and feel valued. There shouldn’t be a class system within a church where “the favorites” rule as elites and everyone else is powerless and voiceless. What would Jesus do? Treat everyone the same.
  1. Too much emphasis on giving money. While it takes money to have a successful church and do effective ministry, members shouldn’t be bombarded with unremitting discourse about giving money. If your church really has something great to offer, then people will give liberally without relentless requests for and talks about money. Too many pastors are so focused on money that they have turned Jesus into a footnote and afterthought in their churches. Jesus should always be put in first place. When you put Jesus in first place, He will bless your church and abundantly supply you with money.
  1. A lack of focus on serious evangelism. Incessant focusing on money in many churches has led to soul-winning not being a top priority. Many church leaders will say that soul-winning is their top priority—only to turn immediately to soliciting money again. If you want your church to grow, you have to make a real commitment to winning souls for Christ. The money your church needs is found outside of the church: the lost souls who need to come to Christ are the additional sources of money. You cannot continue to ask for money from the same people already in your church; recruit new members through evangelism. Want a successful church? Have a church without borders—don’t remain stuck in the four walls of your building.
  1. The absence of the Gospel of Grace. One of the most frustrating phenomena about most churches is their pastors are still teaching, preaching, and witnessing as if the Mosaic and Levitical Laws are still in effect. Pastors, Jesus didn’t die on the Cross to grant you the right to lord your authority over people. Jesus died on the Cross to empower people with freedom and power through Him. Unfortunately, too many pastors are afraid to teach and preach about grace in a comprehensive way because they know this will mean that they will have to surrender their micro-managing control over their members. The New Covenant is not about subjecting one’s self to a bunch of rules and regulations; it’s about receiving God’s agape love and being empowered through the grace of Christ. When your pastor refuses to engage deeply with grace, he or she is simply a control-freak! The absence of the Gospel of Grace results in church members believing in their own performances instead of believing in what Jesus has already done at the Cross. Right believing produces right living—not vice versa.
  1. Not enough focus on teaching and studying the Bible. It seems that all many preachers want to do is scream, holler, and speak in tongues. What about imparting the Word of God, though? It’s a close and consistent study of the Word of God that brings deliverance, prosperity, healing, joy, peace, happiness, love, and etc. to people—not your screaming, hollering, speaking in tongues, requests for money, rules, regulations, and “good advice.” Unfortunately, too many pastors aren’t equipped to teach the bible properly. Many lack the necessary intellectual aptitude to teach the bible so they just attack those who are educated and say that “the Holy Ghost will reveal all things” as cheap cop out for their inability to rightly divide the Word of Truth. A pastor and his or her congregation can only progress successfully through the regenerating washing of the Word of God. Instead of having all of these revivals and “tarry services,” start having more Word of God revivals where a close study of the bible occurs. You can always identify a pastor does not really know much about the bible when he or she turns Bible Study into regular Sunday service—where testimony, singing, and non-scriptural focused discourse are placed at the forefront over teaching and studying the Word of God.
  1. A lack of meaningful innovation. Although all change is not good change, numerous churches across the nation are declining or failing because they refuse to discontinue their useless traditions. This does not mean that they need to fuse secular phenomena into their church services and practices, but your churches shouldn’t suffer from routinization. Church leaders should listen closely to members about new ideas, and they should observe successful practices and programs of other churches and implement them.
  1. Jesus isn’t being made the top priority. Too many churches aren’t being governed by the dominant principle of Jesus being in first place in all matters. When this governing principle is absent, churches continue to decline and inevitably fail. In every decision that one makes in your church, there should always be a focus on how the decision reflects Jesus being put in first place.

Dr. Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

10 Reasons Your Church Could Be in Decline

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Top 10 Things I Hope I Won’t See in 2016

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FERGUSON, MO - AUGUST 11: Police force protestors from the business district into nearby neighborhoods on August 11, 2014 in Ferguson, Missouri. Police responded with tear gas and rubber bullets as residents and their supporters protested the shooting by police of an unarmed black teenager named Michael Brown who was killed Saturday in this suburban St. Louis community. Yesterday 32 arrests were made after protests turned into rioting and looting in Ferguson. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

FERGUSON, MO – AUGUST 11:  . (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

The New Year has taken shape and New Year resolutions have also been announced. Without further ado Happy New Year! I have a few resolutions, but this blog post isn’t about me on a personal level. I just wish everyone peace, good health and prosperity. Avoiding certain events and actions, is what I want, so I compiled a list. Some of them are probably impossible to get, but hey maybe if I put in in the universe it will manifest itself into reality.

  1. The continuous killing of unarmed Black people by the police. I mean seriously, the police have killed more Black people than they have been lynched since Jim Crow. The constant killing of Black bodies have taken a toll on so many people, that some of us are numb to these realities of police culture, whenever the latest trigger warning video takes place.

  2. Donald Trump winning the Presidency. If America is that stupid (well some are) to vote for the man who is the epitome of a racist, then it may be time for some of us who aren’t of a Caucasian persuasion to rebel. It astonishes me how this racist nut job is leading the polls. Hopefully, it is all a mirage, and the GOP voters will be voting for someone else. Even if they do, it’s still scary due to the options that are just as bad as Trump.

  3. Local District Attorneys overseeing police shootings that kill civilians. DA’s have too much of a close relationship, with police officers. They willfully throw away cases for police officers that commit murder, so that the officers can get away with it. Let someone who has no relationship with the local police, take over the investigation.

  4. Folks contributing to rape culture. So many people are taking their superhero uniforms out the closet to defend those, who are accused of rape. They contribute to the ignorance with the narrative that suggests rape didn’t happen because they took way to long to report it. People like that are the reasons why rape victims, are hesitate to speak up.

  5. That All Lives Matter crap. Of course, all lives are important, but seriously, are all lives (all races) being murdered at astronomical levels, by police? You know that answer to that, so shut up!

  6. People on their soap box on social media complaining about Facebook status updates. If one does not like a status, it’s quite easy to unfriend or unfollow the person. No one, and I mean, not a soul is holding the complainer cyber hostage.

  7. Comparing The Weeknd to Michael Jackson. That is beyond disrespectful. That also goes for those who want to compare Adele to being the next Whitney Houston; just stop it.

  8. The what about Black-on-Black crime narrative, when discussing brutality by police. Please Black-on-Black crime advocates, take a criminology course, review the FBI crime statistics reports and stop allowing the news to shape one’s narrative. Some people sound like Fox News pundits, and it’s even worse when they are Black spewing that foolery.

  9. Refusing to vote in local elections. Judges, prosecutors, representatives are on the ballots in a lot of local elections, and when I go to vote, it’s like a ghost town. Don’t be enthusiastic about just voting for the Presidential Election, one needs to get an education on these judges, prosecutors, etc. who have the power and has brought injustices to your life. Start voting!

  10. Avoiding jury duty. Another nail in the coffin as far as justice goes, when we get upset that an all-white jury is selected for Ray-Ray and Pookie’s trial. Maybe, if Black people stop avoiding jury duty, they can be on one of these cases and listen to evidence without the racial bias it embeds itself in when it’s an all-white jury. Just food for thought.

There are other things I hope I don’t see, but for now, these are the main topics that should be left in 2015.

-Ms Scripter

Just blogging for the masses, ya dig?

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GoFundMe Is Becoming, The Internet Version of Panhandling

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OPINION- When I’m on social media it is for a few reasons, which are to post mainly an update to this blog, upload a few pictures, like everyone’s new baby pictures (I love the bundles of joy), interact with associates, friends and family. I also usually partake in some foolery and discussing series topics, with emphasis on social justice issues.

Now when I log on to do these things on social media, I feel like I’m riding the subway, as if a panhandler enters the subway car and comes up with a story as to why he/she needs help. The beggar walks through the car door with their dirty cup in hand, shaking it so we can hear the change clashing together as if to say people gave me change, so help me out. Little do we know, that same panhandler has enough cash in their pocket from folks who have given them money over time that would probably pay our cell phones bills for at least a few months. The average panhandler can rack up, a very lucrative amount of money.

A 43-year-old man who sits outside Grand Central Terminal in New York City reportedly makes $200 per hour collecting handouts from passersby

I’m not saying no one should give change or cash at any give time, but when one starts to see the same panhandler on one’s ride to and from work, then they don’t look like someone that needs help but replicates a co-worker minus the company paycheck. It’s almost like the panhandler is doing 8 hours of hustle work, and they get money tax-free. I grew up all my life seeing beggars everywhere, but I would think I wouldn’t have to see that style when I log on to my computer to get my nerd on and interact with those who share my common interests.

Besides seeing, the over-saturated and quite nauseating fight videos that come across my timeline on Facebook. I’m starting to see an array of GoFundMe requests that is beginning to appear to be downright annoying. The GoFundMe consists of requests for financial assistance for school, funeral costs, wedding cost, bail money for a family member, money to pay bills, and other financial assistance scenarios.

It has gotten so bad, that I have unfollowed a ton of begging FB friends because I’m tired of seeing it on my news feed. The straw that broke the camels back for me is when I saw a GoFundMe request from someone asking for $5,000 to make home cook meals for children [pause]. What made it worse, I have talked to this person in the past, and I know about their history and they don’t want to use that money for providing home cook meals for kids, they want to use it for their financial gain.

When I see the request for funeral cost now, I analyze to a fault. Just the other day a person was seeking funds for funeral cost but was flossing on Facebook about the new television set that they purchased as an early Christmas gift for themselves. What I was thinking, maybe that money should have been invested in life insurance for your parents, so you don’t have to ask people on social media for money when one of them is no longer with us. Monthly life insurance fees are not expensive, and it cost less than what one would spend at the clubs, malls, or any other place on a monthly basis. Some folks who are requesting donations, have either never met me before, or rarely interacted with me on social media.

The last time I donated to help someone on GoFundMe was to the Orta family. Ramsey Orta recorded Eric Garner’s final moments. That video sent a shock wave through social media and assisted with putting police departments (NYPD) in the spotlight concerning excessive and deadly force. Orta was arrested a short time later, and I believe that was a revenge arrest. That is one of the police departments, M.O., so I had an invested interest in assisting Orta.

Due to this new GoFundMe request craze on my timeline, I am no longer donating to a damn thing. My money that I work hard for will stay in my pocket. There are other means to give back to “legitimate” people who need help, but from the look of things, a lot of folks are just requesting money through fraudulent and selfish means and that’s messing up those who legitimately need assistance. Thanks to these characters, I will always side-eye the GoFundMe request that invades my timeline and enthusiastically ignore each and everyone.

Before social media, how were these same people taking care of their financial business? Not too many folks could become Pastors and run their church hustle (you mad?) in the neighborhood.  How else were they getting their hustle on? Let’s stop making GoFundMe the new panhandling hustle, it is doing a disservice to those who need it the most because I am no longer attempting to decipher the real from the fake.

[SOURCE]

-Ms Scripter

Just blogging for the masses, ya dig?

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Don’t Blame It on the Alcohol

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When you do stupid stuff under the influence of alcohol, don’t blame it on the alcohol—blame it on your own stupid self! Alcohol has to take the blame for far too many things that it is not causing. Alcohol does not make people do stupid things—people do stuff things because they want to do them. When you know that drinking too much alcohol is going to cause you to act foolishly, you are to be held fully responsible for your actions—not the Grey Goose! While I love Jamie Foxx’s “Blame It,” it’s just a fun song; it’s not a song with a profound message for you to apply to your life. In some ways, I think Jamie Foxx’s song is actually making fun of how people use alcohol as an excuse for all of the poor decisions they make.

When you are drunk and run into a car and kill people, alcohol is not going to save you from prison. Alcohol is not going to bring those people back to life. Alcohol is not going to comfort the victims’ families.

I am not trying to discourage you from drinking alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with you drinking alcohol at all. I just want you to drink alcohol responsibly. If you are going to get drunk, make sure that you don’t plan to get behind the wheel of a car. The only time when it’s a problem for you to get drunk is when you put yourself in a position to hurt someone else because you are intoxicated. Don’t let your love of alcohol be the ruin of yourself, and please don’t let it be ruin of others.

Some people think that it’s so cute to say that they got so “messed up” from drinking alcohol. They go to extremes to try to promulgate that they got “messed up.” It seems to me that they are not simply enjoying the alcohol, but are enjoying the attention that the alcohol can get them. Drink for yourself—don’t drink for others.

Make sure that you are able to handle your alcohol. I have seen people become so violent when they are drunk. To men, being drunk is not an excuse for you to raise your hands and hit a woman. If you raise your hands and hit a woman while you are drunk, I think that you deserve to go to jail. I know that the judge is just going to love to hear your excuse that the alcohol made you do it.

Let alcohol be a commodity that bring us together and not one that destroys us. Alcohol can always be a positive commodity, but it’s going to take responsible consumers to always make it a positive commodity. If you are not a responsible person, then stay away from alcohol. If you are friends with a person who is not a responsible drinker, then encourage him or her to be a more responsible drinker. Your friend may reject your advice but at least you will have played a part in trying to get him or her to change the way he or she drinks.

Blame your ignorance on yourself!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

[SOURCE]

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Rappers Are Dying Young: Time To Focus On Preventive Healthcare

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Sean PriceOPINION- Another rapper has died who did not reach the age of 50. Sean Price, who I loved, from the rap duo Helter Skelter passed away in his sleep, recently. Rappers dying at a young age has been a reoccurring theme in the hip-hop community for quite some time, but it’s a cause for alarm. I took noticed of rap artists dying at a young age when Eazy-E of the legendary group N.W.A. died of complications from AIDS. Eazy E was only 31 years old. I remember hearing the news of his death and being shocked that the AIDS epidemic has hit hip-hop and took the life of a legend.

The list of hip-hop artists that have all passed away at a young age is problematic. I am a strong believer that record companies should provide health benefits to their artists like other jobs and if one is an independent, Obamacare should be one of the things that these artists should consider and use.

Here are just a few artists who have died at such a young age, thus far:

  • Heavy D – 44 years old
  • Nate Dogg – 41 years old
  • Ms. Melodie – 43 years old
  • Guru of Gangstarr – 48 years old
  • Lord Infamous of 36 Mafia – 40 years old
  • Sean Price – 43 years old
  • DJ EZ Rock – 46 years old
  • Cowboy of The Furious Five – 38 years old
  • Big Pun – 28 years old
  • Old Dirty Bastard -35 years old
  • Pimp C – 33 years old
  • MC Breed – 37 years old
  • Aoache – 45 years old
  • Tim Dog -46 years old
  • Chris Kelly of Kriss Kross – 34 years old

These are only a few that I’ve listed; I’m sure there are others who contributed to the genre in some fashion would have made this list. These deaths could have been avoided with proper health care and preventive actions. Yearly physicals and staying on top of one’s health is imperative to living a long life. What needs to take place is educating oneself on how to improve one’s health to live a long prosperous life.

Musicians like Keith Richards from the group The Rolling Stones, for example, is still alive and kicking at the age of 7 1 years old. Richards was heavy in the drug scene and hasn’t faced the same fate as a lot of these hip-hop artists have unfortunately faced. Richards has been real coy about how he can still maintain playing on the road and living. If I were to guess, Richards has doctors on his side, but for some reason he isn’t going to reveal too much concerning his routine, as far as his health is concerned. Richards did say this in an interview in 2013 about his past drug use:

“I’ve got to stop now, or I’m going to go in for hard time.” The cocaine I quit because I fell on my head! Due to that – no more coke. Actually, my body tells me when to stop . . . the hard way. It’s a knock on the head – OK. It’s no big deal to me, to give things up.”

Richards knew when to stop living a hard life, and he is the epitome of what an artist resembles concerning drugs and alcohol. Richards is still alive and kicking because he realized at the rate he was going, The Rolling Stones would have a dead member eventually.

I just wish hip-hop artists focus on their health, get educated to avoid being on the list of hip-hop artists dying fairly young. Without the education, and staying on top of one’s health, we are going to have more of these artists facing the same fate. Lastly, this isn’t just in hip-hop, it’s the Black community in general who need to get serious about one’s health. Don’t get mad at the wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend and family members who nagged you about following up on physicals, eating right, minimizing alcohol intake, exercising, and such. Simple routine doctors visits, improving eating habits, and avoiding bad habits in general can save one’s life.

Check out the U.S. Department of Health Services that provides a list of preventive measures to improve one’s health: hhs.gov

[SOURCE]

-Ms Scripture

Just blogging for the masses, ya dig?

 

 

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Bombarded with Relationship Advice…

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givingadviceSometimes you can simply get too much relationship advice. Too much relationship advice can cause you to lack the will to solve your own relationship problems. Now, there’s nothing wrong with listening to the advice of others about your relationship problems, but don’t listen to too many voices. When you listen to too many voices about your relationship problems, this means you are talking to too many people about your relationship problems. You just might be having some of those relationship quandaries because you are sharing too much with too many folks. For those of you who have discovered that the more information you share with others about your relationship, the worse it gets. Pause one moment. Did you ever think about the reason that it keeps getting worse and worse stems from those people who you keep sharing information with all the time? The ones you are telling all of your relationship business to could be the ones that are going to take your woman or man—just a thought.

Women, when your man cheats on you, you just might want to seek out the advice of another man and not another woman. Many of the responses of women I have encountered will simply say, “Girl, you need to leave him.” Although cheating is one of the greatest betrayals, it’s not always best to simply discontinue a relationship with someone because he or she has cheated on you. The reason that many women will tell you that you should just leave him is they are not the ones who have to climb back in that empty bed night after night. No, I’m not advocating for you to let a man continue to dishonor you by cheating on you time after time, but you should not simply listen to the voices of people who are not going to rationally help you to think about this situation in its totality and who are not going to help you to make the decision that is truly best for you.

Yes, I know that I mentioned previously that you are bombarded with too much relationship advice and it seems that you are getting relationship advice from what I have composed thus far. The only reason that I have written what I have thus far is to cause you to seriously reflect on the relationship advice you get and to expose some of the irrationality and lack of depth in thought that accompanies much of the relationship advice you receive.

The person who needs to be the expert about the relationship you are in or about relationships in general is you. Why would you allow someone to be an expert about a person who you know better than he or she does? That’s silly! Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with getting other viewpoints, but you should not allow those viewpoints to skew the realities about the person you are in a relationship with.

It seems like every time I go to various blogs there’s someone giving people relationship advice. So many talk shows frequently focus on giving relationship advice. Too many people’s discourses are concentrated on relationship advice.  What qualifies a person to give relationship advice to another person? Why should anyone listen to what you have to say about relationships? Can your personal relationship advice really be applied to another person’s relationship?

Random question (I think): Why have so many people allowed Steve Harvey to become a popular national relationship “expert” for women and men?

On Facebook, I have noticed that people will disclose the things that are going on in their relationships through their statuses, and from what they have learned in their relationships, they will share with the rest of their Facebook friends their “profound epiphanies.”

Be more selective about the people who you elect to get relationship advice from when you are having relationship problems. Try to solve your own relationship problems before you let some blog writer, Steve Harvey, Oprah, your pastor, and/or others attempt to solve them for you. When you begin to feel overwhelmed with so much relationship advice, I want you to think about how much you are responsible for this feeling. Most of the time you are so bombarded with relationship advice because you allowed yourself to be overwhelmed with it.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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The Top 5 Reasons Why I Shredded Your Resume

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Shred job applications.

Shred job applications.

I have written posts about resumes and how one should conduct themselves in interviews countless times. I have reviewed resumes for nearly two decades and have conducted job interviews for that same length of time. With that being said, I am dishearted at the fact that many people just don’t know what a resume should entail once one decides to email it to a potential employer.

Once I receive an email, either through Monster or to my direct email address to review. I pick out the best ones, but I’m often horrified that many people still do not know what not to do when creating a resume. This is why many of the resumes that I receive might end up being placed in the shredder.

Here are the top 5 reasons why I shredded your resume:

  1. Spelling errors: Please have someone proofread one’s resume before submitting it to job sites for potential employers to evaluate. I see countless spelling errors throughout one’s resumes, and it is more than likely a reason employers will not take one seriously enough to think about giving them an interview, yet alone hiring them. It is better to have more than one pair of eyes reviewing it because they will likely catch an error that one did not see. If it’s for a management position one is applying for, more than likely the shredder will be having a rendezvous with the resume.
  2. Inappropriate email address: Gmail is free, so why can’t one just create an email address that is appropriate and professional. I’m not going to entertain an email address that has a stripper name, or any other sexually explicit name. I saw an email address on a resume that stated: BlackNHung@such&such.com (I changed the actual address to protect the innocent). What do I look like emailing someone with an email address like that? Inappropriate emails addresses are unprofessional, and it indicates to potential employers that one is unprofessional themselves.
  3. The resume looks like a four-page letter: The last time I checked four-page letter was a song composed by the late Aaliyah. I’m sure Aaliyah didn’t equate that to writing one to replicate a resume. A resume should never exceed a page, one should learn how to minimize the jobs so that they fit on one page alongside their education. Also, I don’t need to see paragraphs after paragraph on how many recommendations and awards one receives. Keep it simple with enough detail, but don’t over exceed it. I don’t want to be flipping though page after page of one’s work experience.
  4. Too many jobs listed: I don’t need to read 100 jobs on one’s resume. A good seven years of work experience would suffice. If one had an overabundance of jobs within that seven-year period (say one is hypothetically in their 30’s or 40’s) that indicates one is not stable in a job environment. Some jobs one can leave off a resume, but I should never have to read a long list, which turns a potential employer off. I am looking to hire someone who will more than likely stay longer than five months – try a few years!
  5. Lying: Please don’t lie to oneself and this includes the topic of education. If one is three credits away from receiving one’s bachelor’s or master’s degree, then you didn’t get a degree. Stop saying you have a bachelor’s because when it’s time to prove that one does have a degree, and one can’t come up with proof;  that can cost one a job. Also, stop lying about a job one had that one never obtained in the first place. That’s what checkable references are for, if the references can’t be verified, then one’s job history is null and void. Some companies (most notably if one is applying for a city, state or federal job) usually request the potential employer print out all the jobs that one have accumulated from the social security office.

Take this time to review one’s resume and change anything that may apply to this list. One does not want to have their resume end up in the shredder due to these mistakes, which could have been avoided. Happy job hunting!

-Ms Scripter

Just blogging for the masses, ya dig?

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